(5)
    We were using potassium nitrate in the lab and boiling it to test reactions but i added some sugar baking powder and food colouring powder and made a MASSIVE smoke bomb (it was heated)
(9)
    One of the former DNA lab shift supervisors used a small conference room near the HR office on multiple occasions for his sexual relations with not only the manager he was dating, but with several other employees as well. Of course the manger was known for her improprieties as well, so there is no need to feel sorry for her. The funny thing is that the new HR guy from the parent company thought that these were 2 role model employees when all the while this was going on right outside his office.
(8)
    I drank a six pack once prior to performing four westerns...somehow the results were the cleanest I've ever achieved. Hooray for EtOH!!
(1)
    I was looking for a drosophila strain that was in an incubator. I opened the door the incubator, and a mercury thermometer fell to the floor and broke. I tried not to inhale the toxic fumes, but freaked out and did not want to admit my mistake. I told a nearby lab's professor that there was a strange smell coming from the incubator, investigated it with her, and hoped that she would see the broken thermometer. She now has brain cancer. Just kidding about the cancer thing, but I still feel bad.
(-1)
    [meth+heroin]lab = bearable
(6)
    Late one night I was plating out some bacterial cells. For good sterile technique, I poured some ethanol in a dish to flame the spreader. Well, I accidentally touched the rim of the 100% ethanol bottle with my bare hands and I became worried that I might have contaminated it. I thought I better flame the rim it to be sure... When the ethanol vapor ignited inside the plastic bottle, the bottle became so instantaneously hot that I dropped it. Flaming ethanol spread across bench and floor....
(6)
    5. Deny the existence of chemicals. 4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it. 3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker. 2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid 1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.
(-4)
    Top 10 way to get thrown out of a lab. 10: Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and describe the sound to others. 9: Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a partner and ask them how it tastes. 8: Consistently write 3 atoms of potassium as KKK. 7: Mutter repeatedly "not again...". 6: During a lull cry out, "My eyes"! 5: Deny the existence of chemicals.
(10)
    Top Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab 10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others. 9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?" 8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK." 7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again." 6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!" 5. Deny the existence of chemicals. 4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab inst
(58)
    Johnny was a chemist's son
But Johnny is no more.
What Johnny thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
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Here are some ideas to get you started: Pipetting and drinking don’t mix. Make a bad management decision? Pipetting while watching sporting events. Fillaphobia stories. Why my boss/employee is such a jerk. Huge pipetting mistake? Lab practical jokes. Lab affairs…