(7)
    Recently I was staining some cross sections of some rodent brains for a neural nitric oxide study. It required the use of several expensive antibodies (a few thousand dollars). After I finished the stains came out great. I left the box of antibodies on a desk for over a week. The entire box is unusable now.... I am just an undergrad, so I have been disciplined and demoted.... Awesome!!!
(0)
    I was making buffers on a large scale, 1500 liters, wearing my full face respirator. This entailed pouring large amounts of LiOH powder into the tank. I forgot to put the "keep out" sign on the door. Next thing I know I hear someone coughing and asking what am I doing???
(16)
    Today, my chemistry class was conducting an experiment using fire and different chemicals which produce different flames. Towards the end of the period, my teacher said that if any group could make a purple-sparkle flame, he would award them extra credit. I happened to look down at my chemistry book and the correct chemicals for the extra credit flame were handwritten in. I tried it, and extra credit was awarded to my group. Thank you, half-blood prince.
(4)
    We were using potassium nitrate in the lab and boiling it to test reactions but i added some sugar baking powder and food colouring powder and made a MASSIVE smoke bomb (it was heated)
(38)
    One of the former DNA lab shift supervisors used a small conference room near the HR office on multiple occasions for his sexual relations with not only the manager he was dating, but with several other employees as well. Of course the manger was known for her improprieties as well, so there is no need to feel sorry for her. The funny thing is that the new HR guy from the parent company thought that these were 2 role model employees when all the while this was going on right outside his office.
(19)
    I drank a six pack once prior to performing four westerns...somehow the results were the cleanest I've ever achieved. Hooray for EtOH!!
(10)
    I was looking for a drosophila strain that was in an incubator. I opened the door the incubator, and a mercury thermometer fell to the floor and broke. I tried not to inhale the toxic fumes, but freaked out and did not want to admit my mistake. I told a nearby lab's professor that there was a strange smell coming from the incubator, investigated it with her, and hoped that she would see the broken thermometer. She now has brain cancer. Just kidding about the cancer thing, but I still feel bad.
(-12)
    [meth+heroin]lab = bearable
(16)
    Late one night I was plating out some bacterial cells. For good sterile technique, I poured some ethanol in a dish to flame the spreader. Well, I accidentally touched the rim of the 100% ethanol bottle with my bare hands and I became worried that I might have contaminated it. I thought I better flame the rim it to be sure... When the ethanol vapor ignited inside the plastic bottle, the bottle became so instantaneously hot that I dropped it. Flaming ethanol spread across bench and floor....
(-2)
    5. Deny the existence of chemicals. 4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it. 3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker. 2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid 1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.
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Here are some ideas to get you started: Pipetting and drinking don’t mix. Make a bad management decision? Pipetting while watching sporting events. Fillaphobia stories. Why my boss/employee is such a jerk. Huge pipetting mistake? Lab practical jokes. Lab affairs…